Every family has its share of conflicts, and sibling rivalry can continue on indefinitely into older adulthood. When issues arise about caring for parents as they age, strong personalities tend to take over and old, unresolved problems can become exacerbated. Disagreements about who should care for the parents and how it should be done are the most common dilemmas that create conflict.
At Home Care Assistance of Vancouver, we understand the challenges that families and siblings face when providing care for aging parents. Along with offering families support and reliable in-home care in Vancouver, we wanted to share a bit of insight as to why families fight about senior care. Knowing some of the common topics of disagreement may help you and your family during this care journey.
Feelings of Denial
A prevalent issue that causes family members to fight is the argument about whether care is necessary at all. It’s harder for some to watch parents age, and one member of the family may refuse to recognize that mom and/or dad can no longer care for themselves. They may view the other siblings who are trying to help as meddling and controlling.
One Sibling Carries the Burden
Most often, the brother or sister who lives closest to the aging parent takes most, if not all, of the responsibility for providing care. The lack of involvement of other family members can quickly stir up resentment in the primary caregiver. Unfortunately when this happens, it is common for siblings who live far away adopt an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude, and use the distance to justify their lack of involvement.
Siblings Feel Left Out
A brother or sister with a particularly strong personality make take control of a parent’s care with little or no regard for the wishes of the other siblings. He or she may keep the other family members in the dark about the senior’s condition and may make it difficult for them to maintain contact with their mother or father. This can sometimes be seen when the eldest feels that he or she is doing “what’s best” not only for the parent, but the younger siblings.
Caring for elderly parents who have multiple health problems can be very costly. Siblings often argue about who should pick up the tab for the expenses that are incurred while taking care of a parent. These costs are not just medical-related, but the costs for day-to-day activities such as food, gas money for doctors appointments, etc.
When caregiving begins to impact a family’s dynamic, know that help is available. Your family doesn’t have to take on this caregiving journey alone. Resources like Home Care Assistance of Vancouver are here to help. With hourly, overnight or live-in home care in Vancouver, your family can take the break they need from caregiving, shifting responsibilities to one of our highly trained and compassionate caregivers. Learn more about in-home care by calling 778-279-3634 and enjoy your role as a loving son or daughter, not a caregiver.